Chapter 7 of School Run Mum

I run to the kitchen quickly, pretending I didn’t hear, I don’t really do moaning kids, never have, probably never will. That one, I’ll put on hold till they get bored of shouting Mum! I reach out and push the on button on top of the stereo.

“She’s so lovely, she’s so lovely, she’s so lovely, she’s so loverrrrly!” come my dulcet tones from the kitchen. Well, dulcet might not be the word that others may want to use, let’s go with Tina Turner wannabe. Oh to try and keep rooted to the spot when all I want to do is let loose and dance is hard, so I’ve decided to go with it. I’m flying around the kitchen like that scene in Flashdance!

 I love this song at the moment. Scouting for Girls… She’s so lovely. I’m the kind of person whose life has a soundtrack. I was bought up on music, all kinds, Motown, classic, pop, country, R&B, the list goes on. As I’ve grown up music has played a massive part of my life. Even now, I’ll start gagging when certain songs come on that were always being played when I had morning sickness! Not good when you’re in a serious conversation with someone.

Why is it that when you’re a Mum, there’s a certain part in your brain that says,

“Even though you’ve had six kids, you can still dance the way you did and still look cool!”

Well, I can tell you now, half of that did not wobble when I was 18! I have to wait for the jiggling to stop before I return to walking, for fear of losing balance and falling over. People say the miracle of child birth is amazing…. I think it’s a miracle if you can keep your body in some sort of shape that resembles a human and not the marshmallow man! I love my kids more than anything; I love them so much that I have a stretch mark for each. A mothers love!

So dancing around the kitchen, Elliot pops his head in and asks:

“What’s for…..What are you doing?”

“Dancing!”

“Why?”

“Because you happen to have the coolest Mummy in the world who not only dances cool, but I can do this….. Owwww!”

“You alright?”

“Lasagne… with a side of garlic bread!”

“Cool – oh and Mum, I wouldn’t do that again!”

Cheeky, I use to do the splits all the time!!

I turn the music down a little and begin to wander around the kitchen; I walk three steps and sit down at the table, and put the TV on. Ahhh…. Midsommer Murders. I love this programme. How does Detective Barnaby solve all these crimes in this little village? By the looks of it, only 15 people live there, they should all have been dead by the end of season one!! Must have had move ins. Or, it could be him killing everyone, what a twist that would be. I kick my shoes off in various directions, and reach out to turn the music down, WHOOSH. A little person on a scooter whizzes past me!

“How many times…. I keep telling you, outside, the scooters are to stay outside, they are at no time allowed in the house!”

A munchkin that took the wrong turn on the yellow brick road replies

“Sorr-wee!”

As Imogen shouts this out, she continues her reign of scooter terror in the living room; I walk with purpose out of the kitchen, stand by the patio doors and point to the garden! Without even stopping, she whizzes past me again, and out of the patio doors. 2-year-olds nowadays. After reaching the bottom of the garden in record time, she is now flying high above the little trees on the trampoline! My kind of girl, living life to the full!

I stand and watch my little bundle of fun bouncing up and down, then round down the garden and leap on to the trampoline, Imogen flies higher than I have ever seen her go, and people on the street stop to look at the amazing flying toddler that keeps appearing over the fence every 4 seconds! I hold my breath to make sure she actually lands back on the Trampoline, and breath a huge sigh of relief when she does. She commands me to jump with her, I warily get up and start to do little jumps

“Higher”

“No, Mummy will do little jumps, or you’ll be flying with the birds again!”

“I like it!”

“No, I’ll jump little”

“Peeeees”

I start to jump a little higher, and higher still, I jump a couple more times then realise that childbirth has been very cruel to my bladder!!! I make my excuses to a 2 year old, and dash off up the garden.

Detective Barnaby is slowly but surely, drawing all sorts of conclusions as to who murdered the Art dealer, and the son of the Butcher, who was engaged to the daughter of the Art dealer, but the young man from the Yacht Club who has been in love with her for years, was not happy about this at all, and his movements seem to suggest him as the culprit! I have my own suspicions. I am going with Col Mustard, in the Library, with the revolver!! 

I settle down on the chair again, and realise the whole point of being in the Kitchen is to start the dinner. I open the Fridge and browse it’s contents, Wow, I need to go shopping. I notice someone has hidden mini Mars bar behind a tin of Beans. Got to have eyes like a Hawk when you’re a Mum. I reluctantly leave it there and spy the mincemeat. I grab it, and shut the door.

“Whose Mini Mars bar is that in the fridge?”

Gabe comes speeding through from the TV room and smoothly leaps onto the side and opens the fridge, eyes darting back and forth, he finds the stash of chocolate gold, and just as quick runs back out!

I might be jumping to conclusions, but I think it was his! I turn back to my meat and bend down to find our frying pan. I must remember to clear and tidy this cupboard out. I don’t know if you are the same, but my pots and pan cupboard, gets messed up every night, so I have now given up, and have it as a free for all. This actually really bugs me, as I am the kind of person that lives by the saying:

“A place for everything and everything in its place”

I eventually recover the frying pan from Narnia and place it on the hobs, put the meat in, and stir. I’m not Nigella, I don’t have the ability to make cooking dinner sound romantic and exciting. I think the kids would think I had gone mad, if I started narrating everything I was doing in the kitchen!

DING DONG

This time I’m fully at ease with that sound, I’m dressed!! I just shout out to the boys

“Half an hour!”

“OK”

I busy myself around the kitchen while the meat is cooking, and by busy I really mean, throw a few things in the dishwasher and sit down to watch the rest of Midsommer Murders!

That’s when I think ………My life is so Mundane and repetitive, I need more, more excitement!”

Spoke too soon!!